Today is December 31, the last day of 2013.
Started the day reading the Word. Isaiah 43:1-5. The highlight was in verse 1 – “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are Mine.” Once again, God confirmed me, telling me not to be afraid. I was a perfectionist who very much preferred things to be well-organized and I wanted to be in control. Apparently that was not what God wanted. Things started to happen that changed my perspective, my life, basically they changed me. I hated it at first. Oh I did not like to not be in control. But God had His ways that will eventually either put me or drag me into His plans. I’ve started to change, one day at a time. Now I can say I’m SO grateful He DID NOT give up on me.
This pic below is from Pastor Kimberly Jones-Pothier’s Instagram. And may I say – this was oh-so-definitely ME:
After reading the Bible, I listened to Hillsong United’s “Zion: Acoustic Sessions”…
I love all the songs in this album and my favorite is “Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)”. But this morning I put “Stay And Wait” on repeat. As I was listening very carefully to the song, then came a part where I felt “wow, God, these words are from me to You”:
Who loved me through my rebel way
Who chose to carry all my shame
Who breaths in me with endless life
The king of glory Jesus Christ
Those words struck me; not in a dark, feeling condemned way, but in an enlightened, content way knowing that Jesus loves me NO MATTER WHAT. If you ask me, I wouldn’t put up with me sometimes. Well that is what so great about God – He does. To be honest, I’m still learning to do that, to love myself and others unconditionally. But I’m glad I have Jesus as the amazing example.
2013 is not exactly the best year for me; I have rebelled against God, endured pain and struggles no one knew, endless sleepless nights and silent tears. Yet I will still say that through it all, GOD IS GOOD. Of course I’ve also experienced happy times, laughter and wonderful moments. But my favorite moment in 2013 was when I “found” myself again, when I found that my worth was not in what I did or what I could do, but my worth is in Christ Jesus; He loves me, I am His and He has a purpose for me being me.
I love what Lucille Houston upload on her Instagram (yes, I was checking my Instagram before I log in to write this):
Along with the quote, she put these words: “Whether you have had a year of highs, celebration and success or whether it has been one of hardship & hurt. This is a truth that applies to us all. And one that I wholeheartedly believe for your 2014.”
I believe it.
Thank you, Jesus, for 2013.